Ok so basically, I needed Pete (my swim coach. yes, I know I'm not swimming but he'll always be my coach) to sign a form that I was sending in to the league so that I could receive my Scholar-Athlete award for last school year. A coach's signature is required. Well I thought it'd be really tacky to just be like, "Oh, hey Pete, I know I quit swimming and haven't talked to you in about two months but, would you sign my scholar athlete form?" So I sent him an e-mail asking if I could stop by to just talk with him about my life and where I am with my swimming right now. I did mention that I needed him to sign the form. But I figured he wouldn't mind. He e-mailed me back right away and said that would be great. So off I went to "practice" this afternoon. I don't know why, but I purposely scheduled my meeting with Pete to be at 2:15. I guess I figured we'd finish around 2:45 and then people would've started arriving for practice so then I could see my friends. On the way there, I was excited to see Pete and everyone else, but I was afraid I might start crying. I always cry in my meetings with Pete. Ha. Do not ask me why. I have no idea. I guess I was also afraid that, oh I don't know, that maybe walking into the club I might become overpowered by the smell of chlorine and want to leap into the pool and start practice right then and there. So it was with mostly excitement and a little trepidation that I walked into the club. The first thing I noticed was that there was someone new at the front desk. Nina and the other grouchy ladies weren't anywhere in sight. I swiped my card and walked through the locker rooms onto the pool deck. I figured Pete was probably in his swim office. (The one on the pool deck) Sure enough he was in there. It was great seeing him and we had a good talk about swimming, and just college in general. I didn't even feel the urge to cry at all. So that was nice. We finished our meeting and I walked out into the main part of the club. Kendall was walking in, so I gave her a hug and we walked to the locker room together. It was strange because being in Pete's office, the pool deck, and the locker room, I honestly felt like no time had passed since I'd last been there. Anyways, I got to see Kate, Mandy, Hannah, Christina, Tori, Ben, well basically everyone. You get the idea. And it was really great seeing them. After a few minutes of visiting with them it was time to go. I stepped outside and my heart gave a little twinge. But it wasn't a twinge of regret, more like a twinge of nostalgia, of what used to be. I'd always known I would miss the people waaayy more than I would miss the swimming itself. I guess I didn't realize just how much I'd miss them, even Ben, until I saw them again. But it was good. Because as I climbed into the car, their was no regret for my decision. Only fond memories. And through all of that, I found some closure.
I don't know what God has in store for my swimming in college. I'm just trying to stay open to whatever. I wish it was as easy to do as it is to say.
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